There’s something about a snowy day that makes me really reflective. I don’t mean the kind of snow that just dusts the ground, but the kind that coners the landscape. Everywhere you look there are mountains of snow. The snowflakes continue falling – big and fat and covering, not only the ground, but the view as well. The kind of snow that makes you want to curl up on the couch with a pile of blankets and something warm to drink. (Currently that’s another giant mug of coffee.)
But after I had come in today from shoveling the driveway, I looked out the window and watched the falling snow cover it up again. I happened to notice that there were already places where you could no longer see the footprints I had made, and that’s when these thoughts simply popped into my head.
It made me think about the footprints that we leave behind – the footprints we leave in other people’s lives. It made me wonder about what happens to those footprints after we are no longer in that person’s life. Do our footprints simply disappear like the ones outside my window, covered up by the new snow (or new memories), disappearing without a trace? Or are they more permanent, becoming fossilized and forever remaining?
I don’t truly know the answer to that, and I guess it also depends on the relationship with the person. I suppose it also depends on how that relationship was left – on good terms or bitter? I know that no matter what the sharp edges of our memories soften, but they never truly fade away. There are so many things that I would like to hold on to, but there are also others that I would be happen to let drift away on the backs of the snowflakes.
Perhaps part of this pensive mood is becuase I am reading a postapocalyptic novel in which so many of the characters have forgotten what the world was like before the disease that changed so much. There was a quote from the book, Station Eleven, which I would like to end on:
“First we only want to be seen, but once we’re seen, that’s not enough anymore. After that, we want to be remembered.”