Many years ago, right before I got married, I created an email that reflected what would become my new name and the year that we were getting married.
This has been the email that I have used for more than a decade. This is the email that has reflected who I was for those years. However that email no longer represents who I am now.
Despite this, I had left my email as it was because it “just wasn’t worth the hassle of changing all of my accounts to a new email” and so it stayed.
About a month ago I had received the registration form for my puppy’s microchip. As I went to register her information, the website asked for me to enter an email – as all websites tend to do. Except this time, as I went to enter my old email – the email that reflected my former last name – I couldn’t do it. Emotionally, mentally, physically – I could not enter the email. I was frozen.
And in my frozen state, I started to panic. Luna is a part of my life now, not the life I had before. She reflects steps that I have taken since the separation and my divorce – she did not reflect the person I was before. And so I stared at my computer screen not knowing what to do…
I was supposed to be leaving for my yoga class (I was changed and ready to go that Saturday morning), but the fact that I needed to enter an email froze me to the spot.
I could not walk away from my laptop.
I probably had a bit of a mental breakdown (I’ve taken to calling it a mental crack) over my email.
It was in this moment that I knew – with every last fiber of my being – that this was the morning I would change my email. It was one that would reflect me as I am today, not the life I once had. This need to change my email took hold over me and every thought in my brain. If I was going to make this change it had to be now and everything else could wait…everything else HAD to wait.
It seems like such a small thing, but it was a big step towards progress that I needed to make.
When we put a piece of ourselves into something – no matter how big or small – it takes on meaning whether we realize it or not. Up until this point I had not realized how much such a small thing mattered to me – but it was also something that I was presenting to the world. By continuing to use an email I created a lifetime ago, a part of me was still living in the past…
The changing of my email was a small thing (although it took plenty of time changing all of my accounts), but it was another step that I never knew I needed to take until I took it.
So if you too are making changes in your life, know that no matter how small it might seem, those steps are big progress!
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