There it is again – that familiar sinking feeling in my stomach, the emptiness that fills me up. I want to stay in bed and not get out. I look around and wonder for the millionth time, “How did I get here?” How is it possible that all at once everything is so familiar and yet so foreign? Those are my clothes in the closet, those are my books on the shelves, those are my coffee mugs that I use every morning….but this place – this place is not my own. This place is not the place I thought I would make my home. How did my life get turned so upside down? How can I make time stop, just long enough for me to figure this out?
However, despite the feeling of being disoriented once again, I have to keep going. I can’t just hide under the covers or sleep away the day to avoid this new reality. Time doesn’t stop. Life doesn’t stop. My responsibilities don’t stop.
So instead of giving in to the comfort of my bed and the confusing swirl of my thoughts, I get up and I make my coffee. I put my clothes on for the day. I take Pugsley for a walk and listen to music – sometimes it’s music to match my mood and sometimes to snap me out of my “funk.” Time doesn’t stop, so neither can I. Life doesn’t stop, so neither can I.
I continue trying to positively influence my students. I continue spending time with those who are important in my life. I continue reading the things that interest me. I continue working on becoming a better person. I continue purusing the things that bring me joy.
Time won’t stop, and neither will I.