I feel like over the past two years “goodbye” is a word I’ve had to say more times than I wanted to. I had to say goodbye to the idea that my husband loved me. I had to say goodbye to the marriage we had. I had to say goodbye to the family I had gained through my husband. I had to say goodbye to numerous family members lost. And most recently I had to say goodbye to my furbaby.
It doesn’t matter how many times you have to say it, goodbye is always the hardest word. Often times we are forced to say goodbye before we are ready – we have to say goodbye to someone we love.
Sometimes saying goodbye is actually the best thing that we can do. I cannot adequately express how much I miss my little man Pugsley, how empty my house feels when I come home from work, how much I miss the weight of his small body resting against my legs, how much I miss his funny little antics that were uniquely his. But I also know that he had been sick for a while now – that he had been holding out and being brave for me. Although, when I reflect back on it now, I know he wasn’t the same dog – his life was not his best in those moments. So although it was selfish not to want to say goodbye, it was his time.
That is just like many moments we encounter when we have to say goodbye. We may not always want to – I’d have to say that very rarely do we really want to – but usually it’s for the best. The situations always vary – but the necessity of taking the next step is always the same. There is a moment where we are forced to make a choice, and while those choices often bring heartbreak they also bring us lessons to be learned.
We learn the power and depth of our love. We learn the strength we have within ourselves. We learn the greatness of our support systems. We learn the kindness that resides in the hearts of others. We learn that those who leave us aren’t truly gone as long as we keep their memories alive in our hearts and in our stories.
So even though I have said one of the saddest goodbyes recently, I know that the stories of Pugsley will forever live on in the pictures that I share and the memories that I have. The stories will be told. And while there may be tears for now, there will be smiles and laughter always.